Are you okay? This is frequently asked of me... my answer is “No I’m not ok; but I’m gonna alright”
When I heard about Skyler, I wondered if I’d ever be able to breath again, it took my breath away literally, I felt weak, unable to stand and struggled to just function. It’s been 10 months since I’ve seen Skyler, and there isn’t a day go by that I don’t think of him. Blake and I have three other children, whom we love just as much as Skyler. Having to focus on our family structure as it is now, is a difficult task. But not impossible. Our family really is still striving to figure out where we all fit into this new picture ~ but we’re still here, fighting everyday to accomplish what’s before us in the most loving and functional way we know how to at this given point.
I AM just gonna be brutally honest here...
We hurt, we cry at any given moment, things so small trigger large emotions that we don’t know how to feel and handle. Sometimes our heart is heavy and deep and we wonder if we can ever feel Joy again, at times we catch ourselves being happy and then, feel guilty wondering if we should be feeling this way? Does this mean we’re not mourning his loss still? Does it mean we’re forgetting and moving on? Does it mean... so many mixed emotions this event has erupted within us. We’re gonna be alright ...even though this is NOT an okay thing to be going through.